A couple weeks ago Brian and I did three speaking gigs at various places in Minnesota. We spoke at a church, a college, and held a casual Pub Theology event. It was so fun to be out and about, together, meeting people and spreading the Good News of Queer Theology and Queerness. Our prepared remarks at all three places were on different topics and encompassed theology, reclamation of words, and more. What surprised me this time around was how a…

When I was a kid I spent a lot of time alone. I was an only child and grew up in a rural area. My elementary school was a private Christian school that was about 30 minutes away from my house so, being without a car, I didn’t really see my school friends outside of school or the occasional sleepover or birthday party. I had a best friend who lived across the street and we played together often, but still…

Minnesota is the land of Passive Aggressiveness. It’s like it’s in the water or something and infects everyone (but especially those who were born and raised here). It took me a while, when I moved, to realize that underneath all of this current of “nice” was something deeper and more insidious. 

Often people were upset with you. But they wouldn’t tell you that they were upset with you and they definitely wouldn’t tell you why. Now, on the one hand,…

On Friday night we opened our production of “The Laramie Project”. It was an emotional day as the opening coincided with the service to finally inter Matthew’s ashes in the National Cathedral. We were thrilled to be doing our part to keep Matthew’s legacy and memory alive, but also to continue the conversation about the importance of working for justice and safety for people who continue to be at risk. After the show a few of us headed out to…

I want to believe in the goodness of people. I want to believe in groups working together for justice and toward wholeness. I want to believe that we are better together. I want to believe that we are smarter and more talented when we all work together. I want to believe it because that is the kind of world that I want to live in. And I have been in those situations: where people come together and do more than…

There was a lot that was off limits for conversation growing up. The past. Sex. Sexuality. Gender. Bodily functions. It was a given that these were not conversations for polite company. Sure, I could ask questions about them but we wouldn’t really talk in detail and we all felt kind of embarrassed by the whole thing. So I learned to not ask questions. Eventually I would figure things out (or not) on my own. Maybe I would look it up…

Sometimes people will contact Queer Theology looking for resources. They want to find an affirming church near them, or a ministry that is welcoming. They want support groups or LGBTQ social groups or any number of things. We’ll provide resources where we can, but sometimes what they are looking for doesn’t exist, or at least not in their area. When that happens I generally go to my second line of advice: Why don’t you consider starting something? Doesn’t have to…

When I eat out by myself I often sit at the bar so I can just take my time and not have to worry about taking up a table or booth for some poor server. I like to read and relax and eat and maybe even do a little work. Which is how I found myself at a new restaurant in a town I’m not familiar with having a nice dinner. Toward the end of the meal, as I was…

Over the last couple of months I’ve been working with a lot of children and teens. I mean, that’s what I’ve done my whole career but lately I’ve been branching out into teaching theatre and playwriting. I love it. And it’s hard to be patient sometimes. When it’s the third class in a row that the teens haven’t brought any new pages on their scripts. When the kids in my acting class won’t stop asking questions in the middle of…

I failed my driver’s test six times. I am not exaggerating. The first three were for parallel parking. Once I didn’t come to a complete stop before turning on red. Once I didn’t yield fully for a pedestrian in a parking lot. And my favorite reason for failing? Get this, I took my turns too slow: In a parking lot. Seriously. 

Each time I would get out of the car feeling totally demoralized. I felt humiliated. I felt like they…